#1 – Cats can smell it.

I was laying on the couch watching television. Probably a show about UFOs where they try to be scientific, but can’t quite hide the crazy. One of the cats – Uncle Bud, the big orange tabby – climbed up and sat on my lap. This was unusual. Swifty, his smaller brother, did this all of the time, but never Uncle Bud. A thought flashed. Uncle Bud knows! He can smell it!

I think this is real thing, but only with dogs. And there was an episode of The X-Files where some genetic mutant was sniffing on Scully’s cancer. I watched him to see if he was paying my tumor zone any special attention. He felt asleep. I eventually booted him when I had to visit the bathroom. That was the only time Uncle Bud has sat on my lap. If he can smell my cancer, he’s not a fan.

#2 – Cancer followed me home.

A few days after being diagnosed, I was Googling around on colorectal cancer and stumbled into one of the alternative cancer treatment sites. This one focused on ginseng and garlic cures, but there’s a galaxy of other sites with recipes, treatments, methods, and processes. Years before, I’d spend some time trolling these sites while researching my long-suffering and as-yet-unpublished novel.* I gave one of my characters – a paranoid, institutionalized flower child gone to seed – terminal prostate cancer. He’s convinced that he knows of a natural cancer cure that will only work if he manages to avoid radiation and chemo. As a stop gap during his quest for a cure, he gives himself meticulously mixed coffee enemas using the bunked Gerson Therapy method.

I wrote all of this years ago at a time when I didn’t know a soul who had cancer. I needed fuel for the narrative’s engine and cancer worked. This stupid thought has occurred to me a few times: I’d played with cancer and now, years later, it had followed me home. Of course I know that cancer is not a stray puppy, the creepy guy from Strangers On A Train, or a non-denominational tumor-shaped golem I’ve conjured. I know that giving a character I’ve created cancer has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with my later coming down with cancer. At all. I know this.

*Update: that long-suffering novel is called The Book of Catches and is now available.